Whoosahhh

I’m back! I’m coming with a topic I hope is helpful and a bit lighter this week. Winter is approaching, and I wanted to upload a feel good post. Yes, it will be “feel good” but I’ll also be addressing some very real topics that we often avoid in the black community.

Those topics are depression and anxiety.

I know… I said today’s topic would be lighter and it will be. Just stick with me. I’m going to give a brief overview and then we’ll get into some fun and relaxing coping methods.

Since forever mental health has been a hush-hush subject in African American culture. Our culture is deeply rooted in Christian doctrine which tells us to look to God to solve all of our problems and that mental illness is either an attack on the mind from the Satan or that mental illness was a social construct created by secular doctors and psychiatrists. Though all black people in America aren’t Christian, African American culture itself is built upon it. Because of this, we don’t address mental health issues and continue to suffer from it either in silence or denial.

Institutionalized racism itself is a lot to deal with and affects our psyche whether we admit it or not. Many black men are suffering from the trauma of having their families broken and fathers either dead or in prison. Black men are suffering from the incredibly difficult task of succeeding in America and being seen as equal. Black women are suffering from the weight of watching their children and men killed in cold blood, broken homes, anti blackness from both whites and black men, and the patriarchal society we live in. We  definitely suffer from mental illness directly caused by our everyday environment and stressors but somehow we refuse to acknowledge it… Why?

Statistically speaking,

• Black people are more likely to have feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness than white people.
• Black teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide than white teenagers

However,

• 63 percent of African Americans believe that depression is a personal weakness

And,

• 40 percent of the barriers to treatment of depression is denial
• 38 percent of the barriers to treatment is shame

Like, WHAT? This has got to stop. Mental health issues are just as real and important as physical health issues. Mental hygiene is JUST as important as physical hygiene. Repeat to yourself ” My mental health is important!”. Marinate on it. Get it through your brain. You are not weak if you suffer from depression. You are not weak if you suffer from anxiety. You are not weak if you suffer from any sort of mental disorder…But what you are is ignorant if you decide to ignore it.

Alright, enough with the tough love. I want to provide you all with some awesome videos featuring black people talking about mental health and mental hygiene. These are the very videos that pushed me to address my own anxiety issues and seek out methods to cope with it.

Video from Beauty and Fashion Youtuber “Its My Raye Raye”

 

Nikisha Brunson, Food and Lifestyle blogger of Urban Bush Babes, speaks out about her mental health issues

 

Popular Natural Hair Youtuber Hey Fran Hey discusses the importance of mental an emotional hygiene

 

A weekly podcast I listen to that discusses everyday issues and is geared towards mental hygiene

 

These are just a few things that helped me become more comfortable discussing my own mental health and I hope they help you as well. If you have any spare time or a long commute on Wednesdays, The Friend Zone Podcast on souncloud is an amazing thing to listen to. It’ll brighten your day with humor and you’ll finish the show with great life advice and helpful health tips.

Lastly, I want to leave you all with a few tips that I use to reduce anxiety and help me relax.

• Journaling: If I’ve had a long and somewhat overwhelming day or week, I’ll take a moment to write down what happened and how I feel about it. It’s sort of like unloading but on your journal instead of another person. This helps me get my thoughts and feelings down so they aren’t so heavy on my mind.
• Sunday Pamper Day: Although I don’t use my entire Sunday to pamper myself, I always like to cut out a few hours just to relax and do things I enjoy that cater to me. On Sundays I may take a long bath, read a book, meditate, try a new face mask, deep condition my hair, or make tea and pastries (or I may do all of the above if I’m feeling fancy). I think it’s very important to take time to unwind, focus less on the future, and just be in the present. Typically after a few hours of relaxing on Sunday, I am re energized and ready to tackle Monday head on.
• Planning: I keep a planner handy to write all my important to do’s and deadlines in. This reduces my anxiety because the thoughts of everything I need to do are no longer clouding my mind because I’ve written it down and I know when I’m going to get it done.

I really hope this post has been helpful and remember, there’s nothing wrong with taking your mental health and hygiene seriously. Make time to evaluate and address your mental health. If you feel you may need more help than you can provide yourself, don’t hesitate to speak to whomever you may feel comfortable speaking with whether that be a school counselor, a teacher, your physician, parents, or friends. Just say something. I promise it’s not just you or as rare as you think it is.

Shout out to you all who read to the end! Talk to you soon!

Halloween is Black… I Mean Back.

Halloween is right around the corner and I’m cringing… Cringing as I wait (ready but not really ready) for the influx of skimpy, funny, scary, and incredibly racist costumes. Every Halloween I log on to Twitter to see the people I follow retweeting insensitive Halloween costumes that make a mockery of black features, black culture, and black people in general. They retweet the posts to spread awareness about the issue of racist Halloween costumes but I often wish it never appeared on my timeline. I typically get angry. I may go on a rant. I may just say “fuck them”. But deep down…actually not that deep… Just below the surface of my anger and outrage I am hurt and I feel weak. As I continue to scroll I see costumes like these:

Honestly, photos like these should come with a trigger warning. Most of the costumes either target black women’s bodies, or make light of issues that black people are continuously dealing with. Halloween is the day many white people choose to show their lack of regard for what black people and minorities in general go through. As much as we hate to admit it, things like this take a toll on our psyche. As soon as we try and heal, the bandage is ripped off with displays of hate and disregard such as these.

Some may say “It’s just harmless fun” or “It’s just a costume” but in reality, It’s not. These stereotypical, insensitive costumes are incredibly reminiscent of very familiar struggles black people have endured through out history. Black face, a form of makeup that is often used today when someone who is not of African decent chooses to dress up as a black person, actually began as a style of entertainment based on racist black stereotypes. These shows that were held portrayed black people as racially and socially inferior.

So when I see blackface glide down my timeline on twitter in 2015, it’s like pouring salt on the wound.

We also have seen points in history where black women’s bodies were regarded as freakish in nature. Last week I briefly mention Sara Bartmaan, an African woman who was held on display for her body. White people looked on in both disgust and fascination of her. This is eerily similar to the way black bodies are viewed today in 2015 and Halloween is our big reminder of that. Non-black women regard black women’s features as unattractive but are still somehow fascinated with them and can’t wait to turn their skin brown, plump their butts up, and overdraw their lip line to portray a black woman. It’s interesting really.

No longer actually held on display… still regarded as abnormal…freakish. Costume worthy.

Now that the history lesson is over, I want to provide you all with a really awesome video about tasteful Halloween costumes and what to avoid on Halloween. A simple share has the potential to save someone the hurt and shame of seeing their race, culture, and struggles mocked.

On the next post I want to delve into the mental state of black people, black women more specifically. Honestly, how much more do you think we can take? In light of everything that is going on with police brutality, unequal education, and the school to prison pipeline in the black community… I think it is important to discuss our mental health and coping methods for both triggering videos of police brutality and triggering Halloween costumes that remind us that our efforts to end racism aren’t working as well as we’d hoped. I know it’s a heavy load to bear you guys, but we gone be alright. *In my Kendrick voice*

Can I Touch Your Hair?

So I’m at work (I’m a host at a popular Hyde Park restaurant) and two elderly white women approach the host stand to be seated. “Seating for two”, says the one to the right with the large pearls and bright red lipstick. “And no where too loud” says the other as she snatches her Chanel sunglasses off. I grab two menus and lead them to a quiet corner in the restaurant. Once they’re comfortably seated I began explaining the menu to them. “On the front of the menu you’ll see the small plates, and entr–” and then I was interrupted. “Dear I must say your hair is fabulous and it looks so soft almost like sheep hair.” says Pearls (we’ll call her Pearls for now). “Can I touch it?” the other interjects as she reaches up for my hair… I uncomfortably stand there until she’s done touching… and I walk away feeling like less of a human.

Why didn’t I have the gumption to say “no, I’m not comfortable with that?”

Why did those women feel entitled to touch me?

Why is black hair such anomaly?

Why is black hair looked down upon and considered unprofessional in society when white people secretly admire it and want to know more about it?

A few years ago, I ran across a very interesting documentary on a project created by Antonia Opiah called “You Can Touch My Hair”. A group of black women stood in New York’s Union Square holding up signs labeled “You Can Touch My Hair”. The project was intended to spark conversation about the fascination with black women’s hair.

One of the things they found through the project was people’s (white people specifically) curiosity and fascination with black hair was due to the lack of knowledge about it.

From birth black women are taught that their natural hair is wrong or needs to be changed or fixed. In the black community, the idea of getting your hair “done” is having it straightened or permed. Little black girls get their first perm to straighten their hair as early as three years old. I distinctly remember begging my mother in kindergarten for a perm so that my hair could be straight and long. After months of begging, she obliged. A few weeks later, majority of my hair had fallen out from the harsh chemicals in the perm.

Very early on I was affected by eurocentric beauty standards. Because of the lack of representation for young black girls in the media, I attributed European features such as straight hair, light skin, and light eyes to beauty. Because I did not have those features, I did not consider myself beautiful. This same system affects little black girls everyday and has for decades.

For many years black women had no clue what to do with their natural hair because we so quickly turned to perms and other straightening methods. Now, as the natural hair movement has become larger, we’ve begun experimenting with our natural texture and learning to be comfortable with OUR natural features.

As the natural hair movement expands, we see natural hair more and more often. White people’s fascination with black hair simply has to do with the fact that they’ve learned nothing about it and in fact were barely seeing it before the natural hair movement.

I think it’s important that all Americans become more knowledgeable about races outside of their own and that we encourage conversation, but we need to do so with tact. Historical context is very important in this process. Because historically white people have held black women (Sara Baartman) on display and regarded us freaks for our African features, it is important that we exercise our right to say “No, you cannot touch my hair”.

The Warm Up- Intersectionality

This is a blog about black women, their sexuality, feminism, autonomy, and protection.

I know that’s a mouth full and sounds like a bunch of fancy words but they all are equally important and I intend to delve into each of these topics throughout the course of this semester. Black women have a struggle that is unique and different from any other minority group.

*disclaimer: “Intersectionality”, a term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989, will come up very often on this blog!!! Simply put, intersectionality is “a description of the way multiple oppressions are experienced”

cont: We carry not only the weight of being black, but that of being a woman also. We push back against stereotypes and assumptions, and fight for opportunity and to be heard on a daily basis.

“One issue at a time” they say. Historically, black women have chosen the issue of race over gender, with sentiments that “we are black first”. Black women were the back bones of the Civil Rights Movement and continue to be the front runners in the “Black Lives Matter” movement today.

When attempting to address the issues of their rights as black women and join the feminist movement, black women were silenced for fear that the “black agenda” and the topic of emancipation would overshadow women’s suffrage. Sojourner Truth’s famous “Ain’t I a Woman?” speech she delivered at the Women’s Convention in 1851 very graphically depicted the difference between the struggles of black women and white women. While white women were viewed as fragile, overemotional beings incapable of solid decision making, black women were viewed as mules and subjected racist exploitation. We have come to the conclusion that fighting sexism in an inherently racist society is a beast of it own that the term “feminism” doesn’t even begin to cover. This brings us to the term “womanism” coined by Alice Walker in 1983. Womanism is “a feminist ideology that addresses the black woman’s unique history of racial and gender oppression” (another term you’ll be seeing very often on this blog).

“Not only has society tried to smother black women but we’ve also been smothered by the very black men who claim to defend our honor”

-Gabrielle Union in Being Mary Jane

While all of this is/was happening, the black men that we put our lives on the line for consistently conformed to anti black, patriarchal values. The dynamic between black men and black women is an interesting one. Just go on your Twitter feed and you can see clear as day, that while black women continue to rally in support of black men, they are constantly criticized, ridiculed and demeaned by black men. This is a direct representation of the anti blackness that festers in the black community due to the racist, anti black ideals we have been subjected to since slavery.

I didn’t want to hit ya with too much information this time. Consider this a warm up to get your brain muscles working. There’s a ton of history to consider when discussing black women and their struggles but trust me, it’ll be interesting.

See ya next time! -Cherrelle Leah